How things change...

A couple of months ago I moved to Upper School. I was really NOT looking forward to it, but soon I found a couple of people that I used to be friends with in Lower School and now we're like, best friends. *happy face* But it's weird, everything is different. Anytime that isn't during lessons we're allowed our phones out and earphones in. In Middle School if they saw your phone out you got a detention! Everywhere you turn people are texting or headbanging. Hopefully not both. I would get a headache. It's also stricter in some ways, but less strict in others. Like, you can get a detention really easily. And for year 9's (my year) they kinda thrust you straight in. I was monitoring a couple of days ago, which means I basically walk around passing notes and letters to teachers. This is my first year in Upper School and in Middle school they only let you do Student Runner (which is basically the same thing as monitoring) in your last year. And GeeWizz, there's sooo many people in Upper school! In lower, there was 120 in the whole school, and just class in each year. About 10 teaching staff. We only had the basic lessons: PE, English, Maths and mostly play time. We had all our lessons in one room. In Middle school there was 480, and 4 classes in each year. Maybe 30 teaching staff. And now in Upper school there is 1100 people! God knows how many classes in each year. Over 200 teaching staff. In fact, in each class there is year 7's, 8's, 9's, 10's and 11's. Scary. Over 200 staff. Things really do change.

*Sentimental sigh*

A solution to everything that ever went wrong

I just had a brainwave! Now obviously I have allot of brainwaves, but this one is the BOMB.
        Ok, so you know that Britains economy is, well, pretty rubbish and everyone needs money. Well, I have come up with a number of solutions to this terrible problem. Listen up:
1) Stop buying Christmas presents. This will stop people moaning that they have no money left at the end of the month.
2) STOP GETTING YOUR NAILS DONE. This really annoys me. Half the time, they are so over the top that they just look ridiculous. What is the point in making your nails look like Aliens? 'Hey, can I borrow your pencil?' 'Yeah sure.' 'WHAT THE DKEBEKFTSKGT IS THAT ON YOUR NAILS?'
3) Stop playing football. When you think about it, every single sport sounds a bit stupid when you simplify it. For example: Football, kicking a ball into a net. Cricket, hitting a ball with a stick of wood. Rugby, getting your bones broken.
4) And last but least, the one that I thought was blatantly obvious: Make more money! Just get a money factory to make more money! I can't even simplify the idea because it is so obvious, simple and easy.

I should be an MP.

Reliving painful and embarrassing moments

I was just thinking about when I watched a minute of Paranormal Activity with two of my friends. (And no they weren't raisin friends.) We were flicking through the movie channels when we saw it. I reluctantly selected it and grabbed the nearest cushion. We watched about 5 seconds of it - then I muted the TV. I wasn't looking - not even a peak! - but I asked my friends to describe what was going on anyway. From what they were telling me, there were two people asleep in bed, then the duvet just slipped off one of them. One of them got up - died somehow - then his body flew straight towards the camera. Just as this happened, my friends screamed, which is very understandable, but so did I. I wasn't even looking! I only screamed because they screamed. After that, we all started nervously laughing. Very nervously. But then I changed channels and all I remember saying is 'Seriously guys, I can't watch this, I don't want to stain the carpet.' How embarrassing.
         I just remembered my friends Halloween party - we were watching The Others. Now, I had probably bagged the safest place on my friends bed, right at the end next to the wall, and furthest from the door so that if we got attacked by a serial killer I would be able to scream before I got killed. Obviously, I had a pillow. I had got to the bit with the piano and the door. Now of course I didn't know that from watching, but I knew from my friends explaining everything. I pretended to watch, but I actually didn't. About ten minutes later, my 'rents came to collect me and I had to climb down the steps on my friends bunk bed. It's very scary. And high. And, obviously the bit that makes you jump has to come just as I was clambering down the steps. A black tutu + steps + scary movie = COMPLETE CHAOS.
        I don't have much luck with scary movies.

I read scary books though. They don't make you jump.

Counting the days to Christmas

I absolutely hate November. Partly because it is Winter, but mainly because every single day people are constantly reminding me that it is n days, n hours, n minutes and n seconds to Christmas. After 13 Christmases, you kinda start to get slightly annoyed when the Christmas adverts start in October. Now, I'm not saying I don't like Christmas because I love itt, doesn't everyone? But in October it feels like I've only just recovered from the last 'amazing festive deals' companies have thrown at me! Please don't pester me with the next 'Christmas deals' you have. IT IS NOT CHRISTMAS YET! Sometimes, you need a break from all the OTT adverts about saving 'huge amounts'. Because, actually, saving huge amounts is if people didn't buy Christmas presents at all. You are not saving money by buying people presents. You are spending. And what makes it worse is that people get excited about it months before! I cannot stand the pre-Christmas season. Oh, and why do people buy Christmas presents in JUNE?! I'm sorry but I see nothing positive that will affect your life in any way if you buy Christmas presents early. Do what I, and many other wise people do, buy them all a couple of days before Christmas! Or just get something cheap from Tescos and make out it from an expensive shop. Your friends don't need to know...

Ok, I think I got it outta me. Phew, I got pretty stressed there. I need some raisins.

NomNomNom

My unbiased view on London.

At school I had to write an OTT speech to persuade people to go on holiday. Obviously, to help my marks, I chose London. Here is what I wrote, it's from memory, so it might sound a bit dodgy.

'When you find out you are going on holiday, your heart leaps and you think of all the heavenly places you could be going to. Italy, America, Cyprus? But no, you're parents delivering the horrifying news that you are visiting LONDON. But London isn't as dull as it sounds! With a population of just 11 million, it is the quietest and most peaceful place in the cosmos. Dodge the bubblegum littered ground and gasp in amazement as you see an illegal dangerous animal wandering the streets. Marvel as you witness a group of uneducated yobs attack an elderly woman and then see her bleed slowly to death on the floor. Or if you prefer a more relaxing holiday, jump on the tube and hear the citizens talk of an economy falling to it's knees and the government doing nothing about it as a claustrophobic person slowly suffocates next to you. You could even witness the spectacle of the sun making an appearance in the smoke filled skies - this only happens 3 times every century, you would be silly to miss it! As our treasured customer, we will overprice the holiday so much that you don't have any money left. What could be more fun than visiting the worst city in the world?'

Obviously completely unbiased.

I have no life, but now I have a blog.

Hi guys! :) Welcome to my blog! I hope to entertain you with my wonderful ramblings, straight from my head. I won't even bother to sort them out into something that makes sense - because that wouldn't be nearly as much fun. In fact the only reason I started this blog was because I figured that I don't have a social life, proven by the fact that I didn't do anything for Halloween and I'm not doing anything tonight for bonfire night. I have come to the painful conclusion that I don't have any friends, and I am doomed to be sitting on the sofa watching music channels all day, eating a family sized pack of raisins, whilst working out if there is any point reaching out to grab my glasses seeing as there is nothing remotely interesting to look at.


Cheerful as always.